2 years ago, I was in a real mess. I was super depressed, suicidal and I hated life.
Despite being the deputy head girl of my school, I hated my school and this was a huge source of mamae for me.
I remember trying so hard to "just talk about it" like so many people encouraged. I approached one of my teachers about wanting to leave school and go to uni, because I was so unhappy. He told me I'd definitely fail if I were to leave.
I was at a super low socio-economic school. Teachers were absolute shit.
I had come from a prestigious catholic school and was experiencing a lot of culture shock.
I remember going in to the senior management office quite a lot and complaining "Mr BLAH BLAH just plays on his phone, he's not teaching us" is what I'd say.
After more than a year of "pushing through", I had had enough.
I wrote a letter from my principle to The University of Waikato talking about how much potential I have and that I wanted discretionary entrance to study law early. I took that letter to my principal and asked him to sign it.
It was probably an easy way to get rid of a needy student, he signed it straight away and then I signed out of school and never went back.
When my mother got home from work that day, I said "Mum, I signed out of school today and I am moving to Hamilton soon to start my Law Degree". She was absolutely horrified.
I had no money, and I started working almost straight away at a pine tree company. I spent my days planting pine trees. I was terrible at it. And slow.
Even after working full time though, I didn't have enough money to move.
I did the most embarrassing thing I have ever done and messaged my wider family for help. Everyone sent me putea, and I was able to go to uni. After this though, I decided not to ask again (I felt so guilty).
So, I struggled and found solutions as I went. It was super difficult for me to find a job in Hamilton because I didn't have a car and most jobs were wanting me to have a car. Despite having 2+ years of work experience, no one wanted me...
I spent 3 weeks applying for hundreds of jobs when a lady finally gave me an interview. She was interviewing me to be a maths tutor for her business. I suck at maths, but I needed a job.
That same day, I walked myself to the library to get pripary school maths books out & reteach myself.
Soon after, I also got an administration job online. I worked both of these jobs, studied full time, and tried my best to figure life out on a small income.
I unfollowed almost everyone on social media and only allowed myself to follow millionaires or business owners. I was retraining my mind to consider wealth as normal, so that I could have it too.
I saved my Emergency Fund, sinking funds and really started protecting myself financially.
I brought a laptop with my $1,000 course related costs (student loan) and then started my digital business - Māori Millionaire.
It wasn't long before I could buy a car. Then I got car insurance. Health Insurance. Content insurance.
My bigger problem was headed for me though... 'poverty mindset'. This is when you behave like a poor person, you think like one. The way this manifested for me was that I refused to go to the doctors, despite experiencing a lot of pain (mental health issues and Endometriosis).
Upon reflection, this really confused me. I was never neglected as a child and so it was weird for me to neglect myself. I realised though, that I was just copying my mum. She always put other people before herself, and I was doing the same.
Someone would ask me for money and I'd say yes. I would feel pain and I would not see a doctor for it.
My pain kept getting worse and I would sit in ED for 12+ hours because it was free.
This is when I realised that time is money and that I had "poverty mindset" super bad.
I started reading about "wealth mindset" and I had to retrain, again, to grow my own wealth mindset.
My business was gaining traction in the media, and I was starting to make more and more money online. I read atomic habits and the 4 hour work week and really started to make changes in my life.
In 2022, I studied full time (40 hours), I worked part time at a law firm (20 hours), I spent 20 hours growing Māori Millionaire, I would also drive back home to Tokoroa every Friday night and care for my 90 year old great grandmother (14 hours), and I also did all of the cooking and cleaning at my house...
I was working 94 hours per week & I quickly became burnt out.
By the start of 2023, I came to a total crash. I needed to change, again (it's lifelong).
This is when I started looking after my hauora. I started the #millionairesmove kaupapa and encouraged other people to do the same.
I've since unfriended anyone who isn't genuine or kind to me. I've had to learn the hardway how toxic relationships can really impact you.
Now, as 2023 starts to wrap up - I am feeling really good and really empowered to take on 2024.